Not Finished Yet - I Am a Work In Progress - Be Patient With Me

Sadness like a dark cloud come upon me as I realized again that the “church” as institution and organization fells its calling and purpose more frequently then I thought. I hear and see heart broken people leave and question Christianity because controlling church leaders build their own kingdoms. 

My husband always says if you want to live a free Christian life, never get too involved in a church.  Just go to church, sit down and listen to the message. Go home and try to live it out what you heard. In the second you get more involved in the insides and you get to know the “behind the door” facts you’ll never be able to receive the message in the same way. Unfortunately, most of the leaders (pastors) don’t live out what they preach. 

Over my lifetime I have been part of churches where either the leading pastor or some of the deacons dictated the church.  I wouldn’t say lead the church, because leading and pasturing is a different story. By dictating, I mean, when someone in church leadership controls the entire church, when things have to be their way and when there is no transparency and honesty. 

To be honest, I find myself in a position again when I wonder how much pain these people cause God. People who call themselves Christian leaders are hurting others, by controlling them and keeping everyone in darkness. 

“What sorrow awaits the leaders of my people—the shepherds of my sheep—for they have destroyed and scattered the very ones they were expected to care for,” says the Lord.”~ Jeremiah 23:1 

I can see over and over again that often the leaders whom God expects to care for His sheep, they destroy and scattered them. I talked with many heart broken people who were scattered in their faith from the very people who suppose to care for them. 

“Listen to me, you leaders of Israel! You hate justice and twist all that is right.” ~ Micah 3:9 

Justice, when was the last time when your church leaders brought justice the right way? When, they judged the poor and the rich alike. I saw over the years that, if a church member gives more in the offering plate then his fault and sin wasn’t as bad as those whom didn’t write a big check. 

Twisting what’s right: when leaders present circumstances the way they think the congregation should hear it without transparency and honesty. When they want to cover someone then they just twist a little here and there. 

The Bible has many verses against those who are in a position to care and love, but they decide to twist the truth for their good. 

I been consumed in the last couple of weeks about the things are happening in our church. If you go to About W.I.P and the submenu About the Website you can read that I thought that I found a church where things were right. The truth is I could just change that article as it is, but I will not, because this website is about my life as a Work In Progress. Maybe few years later I will see things differently about this article too…God works on me one step at a time. When I wrote that article my hubby asked - are you sure about that paragraph? We haven’t been here long enough and there wasn’t any big issue so how do you know that you’re right. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Trust me I wanted so badly to be true, I wanted so badly to find a church where the leadership is transparent and honest and live what they preach. 

In the last month things turned around. Our youth pastor had to leave because of “moral failure” and later we were informed that there is a police investigation on this case. 

This is what gets me really confused. I just don’t understand many things.  Maybe I am wrong, but all I see is that we try to crucify someone to cover somebody else. There is no transparency about what happened. The church leaders didn’t get some kind of help from outside who are qualified to deal with these kinds of situations and because there is a darkness people use their mental freedom to fill the unspoken facts. 

I been consumed that our youth pastor who failed is treated like some kind of leper who has to be outlaw from the community. I know he sinned, I know its sin (not sure thou what exactly his “moral failure” was)…but on the other side I don’t see any grace in action; I don’t see any love in a tangible way. All I see is hatred, all I see is someone who choose to sin and I really don’t like that, but I really don’t like how the senior pastor and the leadership is treating this entire problem either. 

I don’t see anything what he preaches from the pulpit in action. All I see that is easy to say that we love sinners, but do we? Really?  I am consumed about the fact that there is no transparency, the entire situation it’s unclear and messy. 

Maybe I am wrong, maybe and honestly I hope that I am wrong, because I want so badly to see and be part of a church where Jesus would be the head and where sinners can find refuge and allow God to be in control and let God work in His way. Where grace and mercy flows and Jesus reigns. Where leaders are not talking about God’s love but extended it and where leaders as an example lead what it means to BE God’s extended hand, feet and love.

Did you had any kind of experience when you felt that the church consumed you? What helped you to move forward without going bitter and loosing faith in church as institution?