Not Finished Yet - I Am a Work In Progress - Be Patient With Me

“For he realized by now that the leading priests had arrested Jesus out of envy” – Mark 15:10

Every time I read Jesus’ life’s events while he was on earth as recorded in the gospels, one thing becomes more and more evident: the people or better said group of people who really disliked Jesus, where the religious law’s representatives. Priests and religious leaders. They were jealous, because people would rather listen and follow Jesus instead of them. And they were the ones who couldn’t take the fact that Jesus would point out their sins openly, often in the public. This anger and envy moved them to the point that they planned the death of Jesus.

This post came as a response to a comment for the article: Disappointed in Church Leaders. Elsa made a comment what really challenged me to look deeper and this is the answer to her comment. Because it’s too long and deep I made it into an entire post. I love when we get open about our thought. 

Elsa,

If you read carefully the entire article, then you would see that I did take my disappointment to God. I am one of that people who is far too sincere and honest and yes talked directly to the person too. 

The challenge for me is you suggesting that talking publicly about our "disappointments” brings destruction to the Body of Christ and can badly hurt people's faith. I would say that the disappointments itself DOES bring destruction to the Body of Christ and DO HURT BADLY people’s faith. Many people GIVE UP their faith in God all together BECAUSE they ARE disappointed in church leaders, not because we talk about  these disappointments publicly. 

OUR LIFE IS PUBLIC!!! Jesus didn’t have a double life. Jesus didn’t have a public face and a private face. When he was disappointed in his disciples he spoke up PUBLICLY. (Matthew 17: 17- that verse is for his disciples)  When he was disappointed in the Pharisees and Religious leaders he spoke up publicly against them (Matthew 23:1-35). When Jesus was disappointed about what church looked like he publicly knocked the tables over and spoke up openly his disappointment (Mark 12:15-17). 

Our life IS a public life. We shouldn’t have double lives. This website is my personal faith journey and IS honest, public and transparent!!! I choose to live a public transparent life. I do make mistakes. If you read my blog you can see that I did share and will share many more of my past and future times and circumstances when I screwed and will screw up. 

Sadness like a dark cloud come upon me as I realized again that the “church” as institution and organization fells its calling and purpose more frequently then I thought. I hear and see heart broken people leave and question Christianity because controlling church leaders build their own kingdoms. 

My husband always says if you want to live a free Christian life, never get too involved in a church.  Just go to church, sit down and listen to the message. Go home and try to live it out what you heard. In the second you get more involved in the insides and you get to know the “behind the door” facts you’ll never be able to receive the message in the same way. Unfortunately, most of the leaders (pastors) don’t live out what they preach. 

Over my lifetime I have been part of churches where either the leading pastor or some of the deacons dictated the church.  I wouldn’t say lead the church, because leading and pasturing is a different story. By dictating, I mean, when someone in church leadership controls the entire church, when things have to be their way and when there is no transparency and honesty. 

To be honest, I find myself in a position again when I wonder how much pain these people cause God. People who call themselves Christian leaders are hurting others, by controlling them and keeping everyone in darkness. 

This goes in the church leadership disappointment category and I’m sharing this to reflect the unfortunate state of some of today’s churches. Where we instead of gathering together in God’s house to worship and praise we create Sunday Morning Showtime, when the church will do everything possible to impress people in the chairs so they will be back next Sunday too. 

Sunday morning my son, who is 14 and part of the worship team as a bass player, was heading out the door with joy and excitement. Ten minutes later I turn around I see him back home, upset and almost crying. I asked him: “Why are you back?” (He left 45 minutes earlier as they have a practice before the service starts). He looks at me with a sad face and choking voice and whispers: “I have to change. I can’t play in jeans

I’m sure this is going to be one of the most read entries. Unfortunately, too many of us can relate to disappointments. When the source of it comes from someone who supposed to be an example, a spiritual leader whom we should follow, the damage is even bigger. When we realize that the one who preaches how to live be far from living it and they are not whom they pretend to be, we can feel even more disappointed and discouraged.

I know that many people sincerely seek God, and God is faithful because he goes the extra mile to reach us. God gave Jesus for us, God gave his best to save us and I can only imagine how much pain can cause him when those who should be his representatives are the ones who scandalize those who are seeking him.

“But if you cause one of these little ones who trust in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea”. ~ Matthew 18:6 and I like how the Message puts it in words: “But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you'll soon wish you hadn't. You'd be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck”.

How often spiritual leaders do take advantage of people of their congregation, of those who want to sincerely serve God, but they find themselves serving dictators, who dictate.